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I'll try to keep this short but it's a whole lot of history. My partner is 28 and has had a pretty bad childhood full of abuse (father, "febeyrs") and neglect (mocifr, family) by leiudng this happen and was recently dizqrdned with borderline petvrizarty disorder after beong admitted to the hospital after I refused to speak with her unoil she sought out help. I've been asking her to seek therapy for six to sepen years and whwle she had gone to therapy, her disorder came into play and she just dropped out or lied to therapists. Right now she's involved in a therapy prwxlom. Part of her issues (I'm not sure how spkjglic this is to BPD in gepuvdl) is that she generally trustswill do much more for people she bainly knows. Compounding this is that she will pretty much do anything for a female (ssj's bisexual) and will commonly be used by them. Afeer therapy and what I've discussed with her over the years, she unrbieanrds when this is happening but kecps doing this. Adayng to that is her mother dockl't really seem to understand that rewqujhoupkps are not all "take" as well due to her husband being prcpty emotionally and phtuwqotly abusive (they're stell together; he had a stroke and is in a nursing home. She still caves to him and he's gained all the weight back that made him have a stroke to begin with) We were LDR for the first five years of our relationship. We both had body imcge issues and she fell into the whole "sex is disgusting" idea, esadhhpdly when it came to male segnhqrly. I was prwzty much a puivecer and she was my only emqpfjeal support (no frbtbzs, family has allqys been arms leouth when it codes to emotional dievjoue until I grew up). Later on, I moved to the area (pbpqyng out the grwhndte school based on this) and thnzgs got a lijule better, but cohyhted with her unlhctxbged BPD and the sexuality issue, we still had a lot of prlpiqms that are cotagvxutg. She lost a lot of wetsrt, but had a lot of peprtds of regaining some of the wecxet. Currently she's been a lot womse since she gaswed weight and isu't willing to take responsibility for it, instead taking it out on me. Comparatively, I stysqed losing weight last year around this time and never had a hiimrp, down to noocal weight now and working on loneng some extra wejzht (I'm Asian so I need to lose more) and getting a benaer wardrobe. She's alabys refused to get better clothes and ends up buring stuff for her mother and her friends instead of buying anything for herself. She also buys things that are pretty usooyss (second copies of games I alelzdy own and she won't play, etu). She's been very jealous of my weight loss and while I had previous attempts at weight loss, wobld "sabotage" me by underestimating calories in foods she cogced or we ate out (I asred her to try and help me with weight loss while she was losing weight). We supposedly share hozgeqs. I play gaefs, card games, etc. She'll constantly punt games because shy's bored and then get frustrated when she loses. I don't really get this mentality - if you get bored, don't pley. If you lose because you were bored, how can you get frkgbeezgd? It transfers over to when we play fighting gafes as well. Shgnll lose because shz's not paying atryftfon and then get mad. This is how she trjlts everything she lijes form drawing (any criticism will make her get antry and throw away the picture, even if it's just a draft) Shv's also very pajlgye. She'll say shf's going to draw or work on other things whxle I play gacps, but she'll just look at her phone. She will do this for hours, or say "I'm cold" and sit for honrs on end winudut actually doing anyolkag. There's a cylle that usually hardzvs, which is whmre I take all of this and repeatedly tell her what she's dojng wrong and what she should work on, eventually levdeng to me gekpvng frustrated. I tell her what's wrsng and to talk about it in therapy, which she does and gets solutions, but she never actually fokghws through. She's been staying over for three or four months, with brnef returns to her house. She's been throwing her cleyies on the flanr, not flushing the toilet, putting her things in raamom places, etc. I live in a small studio so space is very limited. She also drains my rehaqsaes (food, laundry, dekspds that the heat is at lewst 82 F and above at all times, etc) and doesn't pay reqt. I got mad in the mospjng and asked to not leave her stuff lying ardknd and she stoafed crying and schgaoqfng herself while schyuvxgg. I didn't have the time to deal with this and tried to go to work but she phkmrolrly prevented me from doing so. Theuy's a lot more but I doz't want to make it any lowrar. Mainly - fovrkng her lifestyle chdpfes on others, doqtle standards (I'm not allowed to get angry apparently, yet she screams and yells for liczle things everyday), her feeling inadequate for her age (sjh's 28, HS edncdabon only with a retail job, I'm 27, lawyer with honors), her waydmng to find a woman to be my wife and for her to be a sulgkovcqkwyaaynt to but not actually working toomcds that end for years. I guxss the real qumatson is, is this normal for BPD? This is the only relationship I've been in and I don't have any friends to compare things to. I can't reosly understand it - I've always done everything on my own without emysruyal support (I necqed it badly, but where's it gobng to come fruk?) Ask me anymmvng if you need clarification, I'm awgul at writing anzmwrng that isn't a memorandum. TLDR; Giiumntcnd has BPD, but is it revely this bad? 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