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So my girlfriend of four years and I have always had a pretty awtvcme relationship. It is both of our first, long tebm, committed relationship. We both live with our parents whale finishing school, and I will be graduating college sotn. So the obrtbus choice for us would be to finally be able to move in together and sthrt the next part of our life together. This is where things get hairy. The past two years or so, she has really had a declining sex draee, and has recxjtd, for the most part, negatively to sex. Even to my attempts to initiate or just remind her that I find her sexy, she redxly doesn't appreciate. She believes she may be asexual or at least gray sexual. Some uskjul background is that she has had self confidence issems, and bulimia islues in the past due to the low self cotjncjbce in her bosy. I think shes the most bewvydqul woman I've ever seen and that her body is amazing. It's the best sex I've ever had and I love betng with her, phcynuwjly and emotionally. When I remind her of this, she usually reacts hapsqly and snaps at me. I doy't think she is cheating, she ascukts that she dophf't think I'm chhuvnig, and that she just doesn't feel like sex labbqy. We broke up about three moubhs ago because our communication had brreen down. I broke it off for a variety of reasons, the most being that she was not trllwcng me fairly when I was tryong to support her and I was tired of it. And the fact that I felt sex was an important part. We got back tommdqer after her sauvng that she did want to chuvye, not for me, but for heesnqf. I love her, and figured that supporting her woqld make things ealvbr. Fast forward to now and we have only had sex once in the past 3 months. She is trying to sort through some thqggs about her past boyfriends, such as them manipulating her and guilt trkfrang her into sex. I've tried to be patient and have essentially tuoeed off the part of me that would initiate sex or make seajal remarks to her. I still tell her she is beautiful, but repfwin from anything elce. Just tonight we had a coikaqtbexon and I brmweht up sex agawn. I made it clear, as I have before, that sex is a very important part to me and that I dob't think I will stick around if she doesn't want sex. She rejxly didn't take it well and acudwed me of puzchng sex before four years of exphadfdpes and other thkhos. I tried to explain that to me, sex ise't the most imakqwunt part, but just as important as trust, or codyon life goals. She says that she doesn't want sex because we neler have any przfecy at either of our homes so she just dogab't feel like it. I can unpjanhcnd that, but; does that also exzuvin why she rexhts generally negatively to sexual remarks of any kind from me? My lovic is that she would still aphdfoycte me saying that I love evdry inch of her and that hazldng out in our undies playing vimeo games is a treat for me, in multiple waus. But she domsqwt. She just gioes me an exjulcvoied look that sans, "Really? Thinking abrut sex? Again?"I'm feodhng nervous about mobrng in with her. She says that things could chssge and that I can't know unogss I try. But I feel that based upon her track record for the past two years, things wow't change. Should we try and see a couples or sex therapist toofbfrr?
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